Intellectual Autobiography

My mother was pregnant with me (although she didn't know it yet) when she went to her first Dead Kennedys’ show. Fifteen years later, sweaty and smelling of Camels and PBR, counting my bruises from moshing at that night's show, my mom would tell me that my in utero punk experience clearly had a great effect. I became obsessed with ferreting out the oldest, dingiest, crappiest punk, dyeing my hair, and anything and everything DIY. I wore the same pair of patched pants for over a year. Everyday.

As a teenager, I wrote CD and show reviews for local music magazines and studied the issues of racism, sexism, and classism that spewed from the speakers in my bedroom. I began reading Simone de Beauvoir and Camus and, in all my idealism, decided that I was going to make a difference in the world. I wrote my college entrance essay as a futuristic look back on the Earth after I had accomplished all I wanted to. It was a Utopia imagined by a bleached headed 17 year old who had clearly heard Operation Ivy’s “Unity” one too many times.

Nevertheless, I was accepted to Occidental College, where I began washing my clothes regularly and taking courses such as Whiteness, the Phallus, and Black Women Writers. I also began writing for the school newspaper on women’s health issues, the targeting of students by Army recruiters, and the occasional music review. I had always been interested in media; spurred, I’m sure, by my mother’s position at a TV station and my parents’ unending adoration of the newspaper. Concurrently, I worked as a news writer intern at an ABC affiliate. With little room for creativity and no investigative journalism, broadcast was not for me. I became disenchanted with the media. Seeing the beast from the inside made me wonder where this great democratic tradition had gone wrong. I heard the staff gripe about budget cuts and computer operated cameras. The endless cycle of budget cuts and bad reporting ensured the death of really good journalism (at least in that office).

So I decided to switch back to theory, and I wrote my senior project as a mono ethnography based on a former gang member. I had been volunteering at Homeboy Industries, a non-profit that not only employees former gang members in its bakery and silkscreening factory, but also rehabilitates them through counseling and other services, when I met Angelica, a former gang member with a little girl. Angelica had been raised a good Catholic girl on the streets of South Central LA. With an abusive father and a community that was crumbling around her, she became angered by her position of little authority in both her family and American society. She often shared with me She sought to take that power back and rebelled against her family and society by joining a gang, where she commanded fear even among male gang bangers.

I found her story fascinating, perhaps because I’m half Mexican and I could relate to a lot of her feelings of powerlessness. Together we constructed the ethnography, employing different theories from the Frankfurt School to psychoanalysis and applying them to the work. That time was both fascinating and exhausting, but I realized how much I enjoyed working with the disenfranchised and getting their perspective on the world, one that is often marginalized or not seen at all.

Upon completion of my undergraduate studies, I took a job at a PR firm that specialized in lifestyle PR, which was somewhat of a departure from my previous work. I took this opportunity to become familiar with the clandestine activities of broadcast and print media. Seemingly unbiased press organizations would gladly present stories on our clients provided you email them the text and send over gift certificates for snazzy restaurants or massages. I was then hired by a software company to create a social media marketing campaign, which is where my interest in social media really took off.

I've always been interested in user-produced media, whether it's blogs, zines, or cable access shows. With the advent of new media avenues especially virtual forums, user produced media is increasing exponentially. This is really changing the way the media world works. Mainstream media is tapping former " nobodies" as experts on politics, fashion and music. 13 year-old Tavi, creator of the blog Style Rookie, sat front row at a number of highly sought after fashion week shows and ended up on the cover of Pop Magazine. How? Her blog garners over 4 million readers. It’s pretty mind blowing to consider that designers want the input of a 13 year-old self professed “dweeb” because of her blog.

It’s stories such as these that keep me so energized and passionate about the field. This is brand new and so exhilarating to me. I'm interested in discovering how people are using these new media forums and how more established media is responding, adapting, and repelling them. I’m also very interested in the business side of media, especially media management and ethics. While my heart is in the creative side of media, I think it’s really important to know the business behind whatever you’re passionate about, which is why I plan on pursuing my media management certificate.

I grew up with the advent of the internet, social media, and contemporary digital art. Certain technologies that come as second nature to me are mystifying to those who run companies. Increasingly, though, those people will not be able to run their companies without being able to harness those technologies. With my MA, I will be able to consult on creative uses of new media. In these uncharted waters, I know my background in critical theory will also serve to prevent stereotypes and negative views of the disenfranchised.

Having lived in Los Angeles and now New York, I feel energized by the urban environment. Cities just have a feel about them when people are doing things. It was important for me to be in New York City because of the environment and its position as an embracer of the new, especially new media. Likewise, it’s important for me to marry my love of theory with media and critically analyze what’s going on in our society with media. Ten years from now I see myself as a critical evaluator of media. I intend to continue my research on media ethics, leadership, and new media and discover new media of my own. With my MA, I’ll have confidence in knowing the history of discourse surrounding current media and the media to come, but also be able to create theories of my own to fill in the gaps. I would love to pursue a PhD and eventually be able to teach others someday.